It's a matter of Perception

It's 7.30pm in the evening and I'm sitting here struggling with whether I want to watch the next few episodes of Perception or not. I'm trying to catch the episodes on TV (what with excitement of watching shows on TV and all) but I already have the full Season 1 on my laptop. 

Credits to Google Images

I've downloaded the whole series for Season 1 and 6 episodes from Season 2 at the moment. I'm guessing in a couple of weeks I'll have the next 4 episodes in hand as well. I just couldn't imagine that the show is so intriguing. Dr. Daniel Pierce (second from left in the above image), who struggles with a condition called schizophrenia, a condition that makes him hallucinate people and objects, helps out the FBI with their cases. It's sorta my new favourite TV show. To be honest, this is one of the few shows that actually makes me think (more than usual obviously).

Thoughts seem to swim in my head easier after I've watched an episode of Perception. Maybe it's due to Dr. Pierce's starting and final few dialogue that always gets me thinking.

Credits to Dr. Daniel Pierce's Quotes FB

"The self is really a collection of several distinct neural networks, all running on this glob of jelly between our ears. 

So, if there are different versions of yourself floating around inside your skull, which one is the real you?"

- Dr. Daniel Pierce

Interesting...isn't it? The way he talks. I suppose the writers of the show's scripts should have credit. But I like to think that Pierce actually said that (well, technically as Pierce is also fiction, he did say that). 

So who is the real 'me' inside all of us? The one who dreams to sing on top of a stage? Or the one who achieved the top scorer's award in Harvard? The one who sit in the room just chillin' to the music? Or the one who thinks constantly about the world's problems and its society?

Personally, I feel that there is a lot of 'me'-s in me. There is the girl who yearns to sing on that stage. There is the girl who yearns to be the top scorer in Harvard. I don't usually chill to music. But I am also the girl who giggle and laugh around, the girl who protects her friend, the girl who's not afraid to speak her mind, and also the girl who's afraid of what people think about her. Ironic, isn't it? The last two especially.

In my more-than-two-decades of life, I've learnt something very important. None of us are just one person. We are many people in our lives. We are daughters, sons, friends, mothers, fathers, teachers and so on. We are also happy, sad, cheerful and depressed. We can be the loudest person in the group to the quietest person in the room. We can be the most precise leaders in a task and we can also be the most reckless in the team (think Captain James T. Kirk). 

Sometimes it confuses us, especially during our teenage years. We find that we can be many many people. We can have different personalities around different people. Some people find it that it is hard to determine who they themselves are because of such complexity of the human mind. It confused me once. Thankfully, after understanding the fact that we are many people in our lives, I've stopped struggling with myself and just let 'the chips fall where they may' about my life. 

I don't go about trying to be who I'm not. I just go about trying to be what I think is right. That may be narcissistic, some of you may say. But then again, some of us live the days not even knowing who we are and try to fool other people (and mostly importantly ourselves) that we must live according to the 'self' that other people think we are. So I, for one, am thankful of who I've decided to become. No matter which 'self' that I am, I am myself, always changing.

Now, that's my opinion. If you had one minute to think about the 'selves' that are swimming around in your brain, who do you think is the real you?