A day in a day...

Sitting here, I feel tired, depressed, dead, with no appetite. I threw half my food away, more out of the depressing feeling rather than out of lack of hunger. I'm pretty sure my appetite would be back soon, when I feel better. 

Had a tiff with Ange, and at the moment, I'm just too reluctant to just say 'let it be' (as always, you can say). There's a lot of time where Ange would not understand how my mind works, how disappointment is one of the worst things someone can do to me, especially after I've been looking forward to something, only to find out at the last minute that we're not going. 

Ange insist that he's said enough to allow me to assume (key word is here) that we won't be going to a certain place. Being the linguist that I am, being the arrogant, pissed off linguist that I am, my head screamed : If that is what you think is enough for me to start "assuming" then you can just go screw yourself." 

1) He has this habit of telling me never to assume. 

So whatever he asks me or implies at me to assume without giving me a straight answer, can just fly out the window, preferably from the hundredth floor. 

2) He has this habit of "giving up" on talking whenever he thinks it's too much of an effort to argue. 

Ironically this doesn't happen with minor facts...or even facts that he thinks is right. This is probably my kiasu self talking for a while, but if you not talking means you "never lose" to me, bullshit. You want me to see your point, say it. Else I know that you don't have a point, or know that even if you put forth your point you will end up having nothing to say.

3) He didn't argue which led me to 'assume' that we're going somewhere other than home. 

By saying "that place is too far" at the front, and saying nothing after I continue on and on about going there, he thinks that it is enough to allow me to know that we're not going to that certain place. Eh hello, I'm not a mind reader. I don't treat you like one, I'm sure. So blardy hell quit treating me like one just because your laziness can't even let you finish your opinion in an argument. 

To the men out there, speak your mind or your silence will be 'assumed' as compliance or acceptance, especially after the girl giving one hell of a good explanation and case presentation. Never just put whatever she says off and just plan your own route and then only letting her find out at the end that she won't be going to where she wants to go. Not to be selfish, but at least tell it to her face that you guys aren't going somewhere, or deal with the disappointment anger that WILL come, mark my words. 

Never ever let me feel disappointed, or at least without a good and valid reason. Not telling the truth of your opinion and then expecting me to know it is bullshit okay. You can take that part of you and throw it out the hundredth floor window now because that is going to land you in a pile of dung. You don't even see the depth of what you did to my feelings. And yes, it blardy hell is important.

The thing about girls treating guys as mind readers only is crap. Guys do the blardy same thing to girls, especially local men, because they care about their damned pride / don't care about making an effort to lose their pride a little. All that of which will cause people like me, who actually did make an effort a lot to go full swing to stop an argument, talk first after an argument, and insist on making it up. All you get nowadays are people who don't care shit about the other person when they're mad. 

I did what I had to do, paid my dues. So why the blardy hell aren't you feeling what you're supposed to feel? Lazy? Go die. That's what I can tell you. 

And yes, I can be Irene Adler, screwing you and then demand that you please me. But I have that love for you which changes everything. I want to, but I can't bring my heart to do it because I'm scared of losing you. Do you care shit about making that effort? That TOTAL effort? Yeah...you can't be bothered because you're too lazy to make that effort. 

Lack of thinking people do these days....

Heh...the essence of dating, as they say, is to remember to give your partner enough space to move around, so to speak. I'm all for giving enough space to people, seriously. But at least know enough to send me a word when you're going off somewhere, instead of when I ask, and then only you tell me that you've been off somewhere. If you told me beforehand, I wouldn't have needed to ask and frustrate now would I? =A=

Sigh...I really don't know what men are thinking sometimes. I get it that men don't have the same idea of safety as we do, or at least, in general they don't. The men I know almost think that they're invisible to the world, and God forbid even if anything happened, they would be able to handle themselves. But they forget that their loved ones are still waiting for them at home, wondering if they're okay. 

Seriously guys...just think of the people who you know will worry about where you are where you seem to disappear off the face of technology. We all don't have powers to teleport us to wherever you are to make sure if you're okay. So just have the decency to just send word of where you are if you're planning to go off somewhere, or go off to a guys' night out stuff or something, especially if you don't plan to reply that loved one for moments of time. Trust me, it'll do you, and her a lot of good if you make that effort. =.=;

And don't give me the crap of you don't think that it's dangerous, or the classic "I'm okay what...", or even "it's nothing suspicious why should I inform also". I know most men would love to answer that. Bullshit I say. We girls love you for a reason. We just want to know if you're okay, and if all of a sudden if you don't seem to reply for hours, we worry. We accept that there's a chance you won't reply us during your guys' night out. But for goodness sake accept that we will worry and you HAVE to at least send word when we do ask you where you are, especially with a worried tone, if not at the start when you head out.

It's not hard honestly. Just type "I'm heading out with who who who", and click SEND. So hard for you to spare that 10-40 seconds (depending on the speed that you type obviously)? She's the one you love right? Shouldn't be hard to spend a certain few seconds just to ease her worries if any come at all. Think men. THINK from our side for a moment... =A= I'm already thinking of your side, so at least make half the journey to meet me in the middle. 

Jeez...things men do these days....

Annoying things about children

I seriously don't understand certain children sometimes. Yes folks...children, because as big as they are, they seem to have the common sense of a pea. Now let me tell you why...

I see so many of the new generation nowadays trying to 'wannabe's, be it of Western culture or Eastern culture. Hey I have nothing against wannabes, but at least get your concept right. I see people who want to absorb the Eastern culture, and then end up saying the word "bi**h" or "f**k". If you're reading this and you're guilty of the above nonsense, seriously, just stop. You want to copy a culture, go ahead. But don't go and mix up the culture and think that you're awesome just by "not giving a f*** about what other people think because life screw you too much". You're just being an arse. Just like everyone else that you like to criticise in your Facebook statuses. The Eastern culture that you happen to want to follow so much, doesn't even use a simple swear word ok? Quit mixing up the cultures then maybe you won't look half as stupid as you are now.

"I know I'm a bi**h but I don't care what other people think." - quoted

"Screw you I can post whatever I want on my Facebook". -quoted

"I'm so emo because life screws me over". - quoted

Eh aunty, you're only 14 - 15 please. What do you know about life screwing you over? Why? Because you couldn't get the comic books you wanted? Or is it your parents don't let you go out of the house so often? Ashlyn at home is your age but even she isn't as clueless as you are now.  

And yeah you can post whatever you want on a social site. People still have a right to say what they want to say. If people call you narrow minded for what you said, think about it and accept their answer lah. They probably have a reason for doing so anyway, you probably sound crap stupid to them. Did you ever think of that? Vice versa I'll have to admit. But you're the one who sounds childish here. Kind people text you personally to scold if they don't want to embarrass you. Then that other aunty (all of the same age, sorta shows you what sort of 'new generation' we have nowadays, God save our country) come and be high and mighty about people not have the guts to put it in public. Eh mak cik, people trying to help you save face you want them to scold in public ah? I think if it's me I okay punya. At most you will be the one embarrassed only mah. Anybody who come argue with me without common sense memang die gao gao. 

And thirdly, if you know you are a b***h, then change la mak oi! Very nice being mean and ignorant issit? Very nice being stupid issit? Very nice being called a b***h issit? This is called looking for trouble, then later go blame other people when they start scolding you for giving a bad impression. 

Very stupid...very very very stupid.

As they say in the local slang: macam bodoh jer, macam bodoh jer...

Angry bursts...

Have you ever just felt like people look down upon you when you try to join in something that they're in? Have you ever felt like you just don't belong somehow, and there is no point trying to justify that you do belong? Have you ever felt like you want to have something superior, just so they take what they're thinking of and shove it up their tight arses? Call it pride, ego or whatever you choose to put it as. But regardless, it sucks when people are just being jackasses, whether they have a mental condition or not is not a consideration. Enough excuses are being made for this person and to be honest, I've had it.

For one moment just now, I wished that I could have telekinesis, or the ability to orb things. Seriously it would do me a lot of good. For one thing, so long I keep it a secret, I can mess things up for people in a way they won't know how. Things upturned, objects thrown around. And I can imagine it will be a very good pressure reliever, one closing of the fist and the stuff in that person's room gets destroyed, messed up and thrown about, ahhh...the satisfaction.

Pity all this can only be in my head. If only magic exists. It'll rub that stupid stare of that kid's face before the magician can say 'alakazam'.