Worried...

Yesterday I felt like one of those emotional wrecking balls came right at me, without even a warning that things were going to happen. Annoyed, left-out, hurt, depressed, bothered, and perhaps even jealousy, all of them rolled into one huge ball of chaos. And yet, I couldn't help it. So God help me.

I told Ange everything that was bothering me. God bless that sweet man of mine. He can always understand (if not empathize) the reasons why I would feel a certain way. Just that I myself don't really know what to do or say sometimes to help myself feel better. Just because everything else I've tried hadn't worked. 

Anyway, I bought a new ukulele to play from the Read Malaysia bookfair. Only 88 bucks adding 2 for the picks and 15 for the bag. Total 105 bucks then. Partly, I didn't feel the burn because it felt like an investment more than a purchase. I really want to learn how to play it, to be able to play songs as I go around in the future. Of course, partly it is also because I'm not opening the Excel file for expenses that I have. *grins*

Ah well, the next four days eating instant noodles will be the plan then. Gotta get more instant noodles. 

After assignment frustration...

It is only now that I've just finished my final presentation for tomorrow's Rheatorical class. 1.30am in the morning huh? Lovely. *nose wrinkle* I wanted to blog earlier, but I was rather afraid of not having enough time to complete the whole friggin' thing. I was annoyed at all the smallest things around me. I hadn't bathed, I hadn't finish the speech and the shorter hairs on the back of my neck are prickling me to no end, not to mention the mosquitoes that is flying around the place, waiting for an opportunity to bite me.

I miss Ange today. Really badly. You don't know how much I want to just be with him and just sleep there right now, isolated from the whole world. His room is like that, isolated. Makes it nice when you just want a mini getaway every day after school. Unfortunately, my place here isn't like that, which means it's adding to my stress at paramount amounts. Damn the lecturer for making us do this. Jeez...

I've got to pop to bed. This is just a short post, but at least still better than nothing. :) 

Goodnight world.

Best-Dressed? Best fraud more like...

No matter how I try, nothing seems to be worth the effort. For days I've stayed up late trying to complete the gloves which I thought would give me the edge to at least be noticeable and at last, win the Best Dress Award. It is general knowledge that for the Best Dress Award, one usually has to dress according to the theme, look fabulous in it, and also, be different. That has always been the key.

But tonight, I felt like the definition of Best Dress Award has been changed. Changed. To Miss Popularity. Because the person that won tonight, was a clone of three. Three girls, wearing almost the same thing, two of them 100% identical on their outfits and accessories, except the colour choice. One was green and another was pink. And there was me thinking initially that they wouldn't stand a chance at winning anything with those identical outfits. Boy, was I proven wrong. The green one won. 

She was no different from the tens of other girls who donned ribbon hair ties and A line dresses with their loopy earrings. Even the friggin' stilettos were the same design with Miss Pink. Only the colour remains different. If colours were the criteria, then screw the damned theme, someone just wear a rainbow coloured dress to the party and she'll be crowned best dressed. *smirk* A clown could win. 

Now, people would say that I am bitter because I didn't win. No, that isn't the case. If the person that won deserved to win, I would not spare her the congratulations that she deserves to get from me, a fellow contender. Last year, someone of worthy status took the crown. And I congratulated her with no qualms or hesitation. Because she was different. She caught the people's eye. People voted for her. I conceded defeat with satisfaction.

In this case, people did not get to vote. Someone unknown decided. And the someone who won was a clone, a complete clone, of another in the same party. So explain to me this, how the hell did she wear any differently from her clone? Why the hell does she deserve the Award? Can someone tell me who the hell decided on this nonsense and also, can that someone give a legit explanation as to how Miss Pink Clone won the award? Because, right now, it feels like there is no difference to the elections.

The award may not seem like anything to you guys, dear readers. But it means a lot to me when I put in one hell of an effort in dressing to kill and to see it fall to the hands of someone unworthy. I am no sore loser. I concede when I know I am truly defeated (in the sense of having a better costume). I congratulate the winners with an open heart and a smile (no matter how much I don't feel like smiling, granted I will still be disappointed). But to see someone as such holding the award, sorry, I feel no intention to congratulate you. You do not deserve such a praise. Yes you look nice. But like almost everyone there tonight, you're nothing but a clone. The End.

p.s. Ange has been very very sweet to me even though I don't feel too happy. Just want to take this chance to say thank you :) Love you lots. xoxo

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

Finally back here at the house after spending more than half a day at home with mama and the family for Mother's Day. :D Felt kinda guilty cause I made mama wait for her present, probably letting her think that we didn't get anything for her. God bless mama. But I wanted le bro to be home before we gave it to her together. That idiot took so long to come back I almost thought that he was going to miss seeing me off (at 6pm!!!!) even. *swt*

But everything was redeemed when I saw mama's happy smile when she saw the present. I made le bro give it to her cause she seems to be happier when she receives things from him. *laughs* She peered into the Elianto bag we gave the present in and took out the Body Mist =w= Then I explained that there is two bottles inside. One, the Body Mist. Two, the Perfume. She seemed touched and said we shouldn't have spent so much on her, two bottles some more. I still feel like I haven't spent enough on her. She's the best mama in the whole world really. She would cook for me in the middle of the night if I ask. Best mama! *hugs* Don't worry, 'kay mama? When I start working, I'll bring you out to one of the best restaurant there is and choose the best food to your taste for you! :) If not, I'll order the best spa package there is for you. :) I promise. Love you mama!! *loves!*

Crap! I'm hungry. *sobs* Ange brought me out to have a late dinner just now. Poor dear couldn't eat because he had to pick me up from the bus terminal. But just watching him eat was pure torture. The fried chicken on the plate was so intoxicating that I had to force myself to read a book to be distracted. Unfortunately, my nose and my stomach wasn't distracted at all. It growled to the point of madness. Ange must have sensed something amiss because he asked me again if I wanted to call for food (I just ordered a tall glass of Honey Peach Juice). But I had to tell myself to say no. One thing, I wanted to help him save a little bit of money. Two, I really have to stop eating so late into the night. I'm already getting rounder ('fat', as mama put it) from all the late night eating that I've been doing almost every weekend. Granted, I enjoy eating regardless of the time. But I guess I have to start somewhere with my 'diet'.

I quote someone from Twitter. I am on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat them. =3= *sigh*

Election, best friends and hotties (as if in any way they go together... =3= )

Ange's still teaching and I'm left at home to finish my assignments and whatnot. I wonder really. Tomorrow's the election and it will probably be a mess, the places I mean. People rushing to places to get their vote in. Not sure if it's a good idea to be a registered voter this year with all the hubbub, but I guess the people have to voice out somehow. 

Mother's Day is in a little more than a week's time and I'm wondering what to get for mama. I can't get her a pair of shoes, what with the superstition surrounding shoes so much. Better let her buy her own shoes. Not sure if the superstition applies to mothers really. Maybe I can get a her a bath set or something. If anything, she needs relaxation. Just that I'm not sure what products she would be happy to use. I suppose I can head to The Body Shop the next few days to have a look around. Let's hope the roads aren't as messed up as I predict it might be. 

Many things happened over the past few days. Things that made me just want to hide in a hole and cry. But I guess life has to go on. But for one thing, sometimes, having straight guy best friends suck, big time. This is coming from a girl's point of view obviously. More specifically, my own.

Having a guy best friend who's straight will just in end up in so many problems if he doesn't turn out to be your beau. You'll face a certain amount of jealousy when he gets a new girlfriend, for one thing. You'll be wondering whether, compared to that new girlfriend, if you're not good enough. Granted, you yourself may already have a beau, but heck, the mental comparison is still naturally made. One can't help this sort of thing can you. You just wonder why has he never liked you. Or if he did, why did he ever change his mind. It's baffling really. I'm wondering if poor Ange is thinking that he's stuck with me for the rest of his life with my kind of baggage. *chuckle*

*** ***

Looking at Dubai princes and hotties at the moment on Facebook. Gosh those men are D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S to look at. Mm mm mm mm mm~ 

Credits to FB page : Omar Borkan Al Gala

Gorgeous, isn't he? Man, they don't mak'em like that in most countries *snicker*. Maybe I should ask my Arabian friends about it. Reminds me of the guy who acted in Sinbad. Yummy~ Some eye candy for the weekend wouldn't hurt. Especially with all the election yahoos on the go. 

Perhaps a biscuit is in order. I'm hungry.

Back home...

It's a cloudy day after a bout of rain. Me and Ange are just sitting in my house's upstairs living room, both doing our own assignments. The Usama song is starting to get to my head. *swt* Mama bought all of us an ice cream cone from the passing ice cream man that comes around 3pm to 4pm everyday of the week. *chuckle* Nice to be able to eat all this stuff again. Man, I miss home so much. 

Credits to Google Images

I am very very sleepy at the moment. Not sure how on Earth am I going to finish a full paper today. But I suppose I must. I have to complete another paper by this weekend. Another Saturday / Sunday working on a paper. Meh! 

But eh~ better than rushing four papers in a week anyway. It's good enough that it's split to two a week. I still got my Pragmatics and Sociolinguistics class full project paper to complete. Not to mention the elusive Syntax paper that we're supposed to be doing, although God help us on that one, cause the lecturer hasn't been coming for ages. Can't we just cut that paper off our list and just take it in another two semesters? Would be so much easier seeing as we will probably get killed going into the exam hall for that paper anyways.

Maybe a nap before continuing the stupid paper. =3=

Of proms and jump suits

Yesterday was my ex-residential college prom. Last year, it wasn't compulsory for everyone to go. But I went anyway. Everybody else didn't though, at least most of them didn't. And this year it is compulsory, and I wonder whether I should have just broke my back and went. What I would give just to see them guys dress up to the nines, looking as if it is their own wedding. Men in tux are hot regardless, nuff' said. And to be the one whom everybody turn their heads for because you just look that much more gorgeous when made up, some sort of a fantasy of mine. Granted, I did that last year. But one can't call it quits just because I've already had the experience of it *chuckle*.

It's raining cats and dogs again today. My pants got wet while waiting for a cab to come pick me up. This nice Indian girl stood in front of me in the bus stop right after I stood at my spot. She was nice enough to hail the cab for me and asked me to go in the cab first. God bless her. But still needless to say, I still got wet through though. 

Feeling so tired today. I gotta pack before Ange comes over to pick me up. I'm staying with him again tonight before we go back my hometown together tomorrow. Ah...such relaxation. I relish these moments. *sigh of pleasure*

Credits to Soulmate for the picture

Was thinking of getting this jump suit from Soulmate. They call it a jumper. But I thought jumpers were those sweaters Mrs. Weasley makes for Ron and the others for Christmas in Harry Potter. Maybe I'm wrong. But anyway, the jump suits look totally adorable. I asked about the size and they told me it's a free size thing.

Now, the thing is, with dresses, free size is understandable. It's either just right, too short or too long. Either way, you'll be able to wear them. The thing with jump suits is that there is a height difference too it. Get the right size or you'll be having a hard time adjusting the straps and the material pinching your crotch. *snicker* Pardon the way I put things but it is a fact with jump suits. =3

Alas, the owner told me that it will not be able to fit me. I have to kiss my short fantasy of wearing that suit goodbye. It's so cute I could cry from not wearing it. =3= 

So much for my fantasy...

Monday mornings...bah!

It's already 12:25 in the morning on a Monday. I just finished poking at a Hello Kitty wool felt doll. I must say that took a little bit more effort than usual. I don't like to do lines so much compared to the bigger patches. But eh~~ sacrifices must be made for near perfection, oui?

Classes starts at 10am in the morning and I am dreading to wake up so early. 8am, on a Monday. And people wonder why they call it Monday blues? Well...then again, my Wednesdays are busier. Got to wake up at 6am for that day every week. I suppose they should change Monday blues to Wednesday grays. Doesn't sound too different now, does it?

To that someone...

Meh...Monday blues. One day before my so-called holiday starts. To heck with it. I should be looking forward to the whole thing. Unfortunately, sleepiness never seems to help with my moods. If only I get 36 hours every day. I would keep 10 hours everyday for sleeping. Just for sleeping. Sleeping is such of that a luxury for university students nowadays. *sigh* I wonder what has the university life turned into. I don't party. Which is why it makes me wonder.

Another day, another story. Perhaps I'll be bored enough to find something interesting to do. 

Ironic, I know. =)

One to the universe: A philosophy

Finally, a new blog is in place. Damn the new blogger interface. I didn't know where was what after being away from the blogging scene for a while that it took me 3 hours just to get the XML template in. There weren't many blog templates that I fancied, so I figured I'd choose one that suits my mood at the moment. Hopefully I won't be so fickle as to change it again within the next 24 hours. And yes, I am like that. Fickle.

Odd, isn't it? How time flies. Just yesterday I was sipping my hot chocolate, looking out into the pouring rain, contemplating the philosophies of life. *sigh* Oh wait...that was yesterday. Silly me. My memory doesn't serve me too well at times like this. Apologies.

*nose wrinkle* A new blog, a new chapter of life. I wonder what life has in store for me. To be honest, sometimes I look out into space and suddenly get this thought that I am but a human in the whole universe. It's as if I am but a soul, watching a movie through my eyes, Kaitlyn Emily's eyes, and watch everything unfold in her (my) life. I wonder if other people gets the same thoughts, or am I just that mental?

At times I just feel like I'm detached from the whole world. Not really detached. But somewhat like being in limbo watching a movie. A seemingly endless movie. I am Kaitlyn Emily. But I can also be Captain Hook running away from the crocodile, or Cinderella slipping away while leaving behind her glass slipper. Interesting, isnt it? When you think of it that way I mean. 

You're now living as who you are. Perhaps Arthur Cranberry or Peter Malador, well, whatever your name is anyway. You are living, right now, in the life of (insert your name here). Didn't you ever wonder if other people are seeing the same things you're seeing? Or if they are doing the same thing you're doing, but in a different location? Okay, granted. I don't make much sense at the moment because I'm in a state of half asleep and rambling. But I hope you'll catch my drift. It's something interesting to think about when you do catch it. Really...

Or maybe I am just that mental. :) Who knows.