5 months later?

And I'm back here after...what...5 months? Yeah...

What a time to be back here writing. 

Just experienced muscle cramps today. Twice to be exact. Now I know, it isn't all that interesting. But honestly the pain was murder. Can you imagine having your toes twisting with each other as you try to walk in class while teaching? 

In line with that, I'm teaching now. Previously I was teaching at a primary school. And now I'm in a Chinese Independent school. I won't say which, for privacy purposes. But in time I probably will. 

I'm not really sure how to update you guys now. I didn't want to start over with a new blog. That sounds rather silly. But I'll give it a try and see how things go with this update of mine. 

I mentioned that previously I was in a primary school. I was only there for 6 weeks. But it was one of the best 6 weeks of my life. I honestly enjoyed the work, the kids - maybe not so much the parents - and the colleagues. That was March 23rd. The day I started at that school. 

After that, due to certain...persuasions, I decided to leave there and take up the offer of a so-called "better" school. It's my first week there at the new school, going into my second week. And I'm starting to wonder if I've ever regretted anything else so badly. 

I'm not too sure what to express here. 5 months of void, too much to say. Way too many things swim in my mind every single day. It makes me wonder when will I stop wondering. Probably not. *shrugs*

What do you do when you seem to think that you cannot be happy in one place? Do you take off and leave? Or do you tough it out just because it is already there?

I honestly do not know what to do about being in this new school. The students are students, secondary school kids. Only one class has my attention, and even their attention weans, not enough to sustain that happiness that I want to maintain. 

I am the type of person that will want to look forward to everyday of work. They say love what you do, and you won't feel like you're working any day of your life. But what if you love what you do, you just don't love where you're doing it? Does that count? Because I'm sure as heck that I've been feeling the dread of going back to work everyday. 

Oh it's not so bad yet. I'm pretty sure that I can survive the year, if need be. But that's the thing. I don't want to just survive. I want to enjoy going to work. I want to have a reason to smile going to work. And I'm not getting that, even though I get to teach exactly what I want. 

I want to look forward to going to school everyday, the same way I did on the last few days that I got to be at the previous school. I was forced to leave you see, because the principal never honoured the contract she drew up for me. I should have fought, I know. But I didn't want to leave a burned bridge just in case I wanted to come back. Ironically, I regret ever leaving there now. 

Ange tells me that I shouldn't linger, because it isn't healthy for me. That may be true, but being in that place seems to give me more solace than anything, although I do understand the complications. 

There is a lot of things that I should be writing in here. Way too many. But there are things I rather not squeeze together. There are people that I would like to introduce to you guys but not being squeezed into this post. Perhaps another one. But he will go by this name...

Damon.