Day after day passes by and I'm sitting here wondering, why does time fly so fast? It seems like only yesterday that I was thinking this week was going to be hectic (it was Sunday of the previous week)...and it wasn't, and it's already Saturday of the this week.
Well, enough about time.
Being in the cosplaying community for a while, it makes me wonder about the drama that people can cause. When personal interests come into play, a lot of the time, people can forget about relationships. As they say in Chinese, "recognise money don't recognise people". But in this case, it's more to personal benefits instead of money.
I've seen very popular people screw up their methods of dealing with their issues. With this era being the era of the Internet now, some of them seem to deem it wise to share their issues with an anonymity of names on their Facebook accounts. And then they would have all their friends come in and comment (i.e. bashing, flaming, etc.) on the same status, with the person stating "you know who you are".
Really people?
That's not the way to deal with things. Now I'm not a saint, nor a wise person that's been meditating on the top of the mountain for years. But the wise thing to do when one has issues with someone else is to directly go to the person and explain what issues that they have. Not to post about it online, hoping the person that you're mad at will read the post, be bothered with it, and then reply to you / post about it on their own status and then you end up denying that you ever meant it about them because, well, you didn't really mention who now did you?
Confronting people with issues that you have with them isn't about giving yourself space to back down from your words when people have issues after hearing what you said. Being mature / wise isn't about posting things online with an anonymity on names either. It just shows that you're too much of a coward to want to deal with people personally, being scared of what drama they might cause you.
So what if you're scared? Does that mean you go to the Internet? So what if you're worried they're going to cause more trouble than its worth? Does that mean you're ethical to post something like that? No.
*sigh* What people fail to understand most of the time, is that we need to face issues directly, scared or no. If you fear that the other party will give you trouble for talking to them directly, then figure out a way to get past that.
I've faced a coward bully once before. She was bent on spreading rumours about me because she couldn't stand that I was dating her crush. My crush was hell bent on beating things out of her (a reason why the word "was" is used) but I convinced him to let me try to deal with it. I don't need people to use violence to solve things (although admittedly, landing a slap on her would have been satisfying). I knew she had a gang of friends that would back her up. So I figured out a way to get to her alone.
I called her out in the middle of her class. She had no choice, because her friends could not follow her and the teacher had allowed me to see her at that moment. I talked to her amicably, told her that what she's doing is going to cause her more trouble to her than to me. Upon telling her that her crush was intending to beat her up, she believed me. And she promised never to do that ever again.
Now, I knew that her friends were the one who egged her on (I never did like those lot). But confronting her was the wisest thing I could do. There was another experience, where another girl, sadly having the same cowardice (it must run in the people of the same year in that school because both of them were friends, not too close though) accused me of frisking her boyfriend. Now, what I did was only to pat him on the back, asking him if he had lunch, and going off to my own class. Next thing I knew, the girl started a vendetta against me, saying that I am a flirt. If she didn't have faith in her own boyfriend, that's her problem. But bothering me with gibberish was not the wisest thing she could have done.
I had no chance to confront her, as she furiously avoided me, knowing that her story was based on non-existent stories. She had only wanted her friends to blindly support her, not caring if they knew the real story. But I did the next best thing. As a favour, I asked the boyfriend to talk and convince her that what she's doing is nonsense. In his defense, he did apologise, even though he had no skills whatsoever to control that ball of cowardice that was his girlfriend. Other than that, I did nothing. It wasn't wise to do anything other than that.
The girl and I never talked since. But she wasn't all that much a good friend anyway. So it didn't really matter too much.
Now I've stepped a bit too far from the original intent of the post. What I meant to say was, facing your issues directly is always a good way to start. Never go around facing them. Never post them publicly online. Just go to the person who you have issues with, because that is the way to solve problems. If that doesn't work, then, well, you can go ahead and do whatever you see fit, because you've tried your best at wise choices anyway.
On a separate topic, we all had the notion that only girls create drama within themselves whenever they sense a threat to their position, interests, etc. Today, I've learned that guys do that too.
Screw the bro code. There are men who would screw their brothers over just so that they can slap him in the face (not literally) when he's down, especially when their love interest has anything to do with it. Hypothetically, the story was, Leonard likes Audrey and Arina. Mack successfully dates them both (obviously not at the same time). Now Mack's a decent guy, albeit a lil' soft of my taste. Mack's second girlfriend, Arina, had just broken up with him. Arina, Leonard, and Maximilian are good friends. So, when Mack and Arina had broken up, the latter went to talk to Leonard and Maxim. Leonard, being jealous, wanted to rub the break up in Mack's wounds. Thus, both Leonard and Maxim goes to "bring news" to Mack on what Arina said, some of it being "you guys have no chance being together anymore", complete with gloating voice.
It baffles me on how guys would do this to their own brothers for the sake of someone they like (not that the other person actually likes them back for that matter but I guess that's a moot point to crazy people sometimes). For what it is worth, I really do hope Mack learns from all this. It does get sickening when you have to tell the guy the same advice after two broken relationships.
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