Sitting here, I feel tired, depressed, dead, with no appetite. I threw half my food away, more out of the depressing feeling rather than out of lack of hunger. I'm pretty sure my appetite would be back soon, when I feel better.
Had a tiff with Ange, and at the moment, I'm just too reluctant to just say 'let it be' (as always, you can say). There's a lot of time where Ange would not understand how my mind works, how disappointment is one of the worst things someone can do to me, especially after I've been looking forward to something, only to find out at the last minute that we're not going.
Ange insist that he's said enough to allow me to assume (key word is here) that we won't be going to a certain place. Being the linguist that I am, being the arrogant, pissed off linguist that I am, my head screamed : If that is what you think is enough for me to start "assuming" then you can just go screw yourself."
1) He has this habit of telling me never to assume.
So whatever he asks me or implies at me to assume without giving me a straight answer, can just fly out the window, preferably from the hundredth floor.
2) He has this habit of "giving up" on talking whenever he thinks it's too much of an effort to argue.
Ironically this doesn't happen with minor facts...or even facts that he thinks is right. This is probably my kiasu self talking for a while, but if you not talking means you "never lose" to me, bullshit. You want me to see your point, say it. Else I know that you don't have a point, or know that even if you put forth your point you will end up having nothing to say.
3) He didn't argue which led me to 'assume' that we're going somewhere other than home.
By saying "that place is too far" at the front, and saying nothing after I continue on and on about going there, he thinks that it is enough to allow me to know that we're not going to that certain place. Eh hello, I'm not a mind reader. I don't treat you like one, I'm sure. So blardy hell quit treating me like one just because your laziness can't even let you finish your opinion in an argument.
To the men out there, speak your mind or your silence will be 'assumed' as compliance or acceptance, especially after the girl giving one hell of a good explanation and case presentation. Never just put whatever she says off and just plan your own route and then only letting her find out at the end that she won't be going to where she wants to go. Not to be selfish, but at least tell it to her face that you guys aren't going somewhere, or deal with the disappointment anger that WILL come, mark my words.
Never ever let me feel disappointed, or at least without a good and valid reason. Not telling the truth of your opinion and then expecting me to know it is bullshit okay. You can take that part of you and throw it out the hundredth floor window now because that is going to land you in a pile of dung. You don't even see the depth of what you did to my feelings. And yes, it blardy hell is important.
The thing about girls treating guys as mind readers only is crap. Guys do the blardy same thing to girls, especially local men, because they care about their damned pride / don't care about making an effort to lose their pride a little. All that of which will cause people like me, who actually did make an effort a lot to go full swing to stop an argument, talk first after an argument, and insist on making it up. All you get nowadays are people who don't care shit about the other person when they're mad.
I did what I had to do, paid my dues. So why the blardy hell aren't you feeling what you're supposed to feel? Lazy? Go die. That's what I can tell you.
And yes, I can be Irene Adler, screwing you and then demand that you please me. But I have that love for you which changes everything. I want to, but I can't bring my heart to do it because I'm scared of losing you. Do you care shit about making that effort? That TOTAL effort? Yeah...you can't be bothered because you're too lazy to make that effort.
