A blink of an eye: The state of teens

What is it in the process of making friends that is so hard to comprehend? At what point are we trying to hard? At what point are we not making an effort at all? At what point do we just flip the table and say that we don't care? And...at what point should we start panicking of our lack of effort? 

We humans are rather peculiar. For the typical, we tease and say mean things about people when their efforts in making friends are visible, in other words "trying too hard". For the not, we scold them and scoff at them for not making any effort at all, saying "no wonder they don't have any friends". And yet, when we want to try hard, we scold people for being mean to us, same thing happens with the other side of the coin. 

I'm probably a little shallow to some people for wanting to make a lot of friends. I'm even trying to make friends with total strangers on the chance that they wouldn't know anything about me beforehand, thus no prior impressions or biased-ness. But when you see those same people not doing anything to make you feel welcomed, it makes you wonder if it is their mindset that dis-allow you from actually spreading your network. 

I don't know much about typical teenagers nowadays. Not all, but most of the ones that I've met only care about their clothes, boys / girls, and b****ing about other people of the same species, being hypocrites along the way. It makes one wonder about what happened to our society that makes them that way. Of course, they're only teenagers. God forbid they grow up to stay that way though. 

The Irritating that is Abigail

Hello folks. I'm back here tonight to just key in what I've been feeling for the past few days / hours. Been snacking on some Wonka NERDs and I think I'm already rather addicted to them already. Ah well, they're pretty fun to eat, and that tangy sourness hits the right spot on my taste buds =3

Very addictive I have to warn. =3

Hokay...well...let's see what do we have here. My friend Michel has again gone up and about an argument with his now ex-girlfriend Abigail. He wants her back oh so badly to the point he's willing to travel out to another state just to help her mother to paint the house on her request, after the break up. ==;; Sorta sordid if you ask me. I know he's trying to get her back (fat chance on that side in my opinion, not that I want her to be back in my life at any rate, bimbos are the people I rather stay away from for my own health), but who on Earth who head to the mother's place just to help her paint the house after they've broken up with said girl??? Retarded in my opinion. =A= Granted, I may already be biased as I don't feel any love for that girl, but then again, common sense, when broken off, it isn't wise to not make it a clean cut.

Abigail's a psychology study ladies and gentlemen. Now, I know that this is a stereotype (so forgive me), but one can assume naturally that one who studies psychology has the ability or has, at least, learnt the skill of being able to put oneself in another's shoes, truly in another's shoes. Abigail, however, is a special little one. She uses the skills that she's learnt in psychology to make other people feel inferior, and thus, unable to compare to her in terms of words and skills. And best part, the girl won't even listen to reasons given by many scientists that girls are born with more grey matter (thus with more emotions) and guys just don't have that. 

Honestly she's going to be one of the worst psychologist in history of the world if she keeps that up. Can't imagine what her life's going to be. Thankfully Ange agrees with me at this point. Fortunately or unfortunately, he is the one with the guts to say things about her knowing that there's a risk that Abigail's going to be sneaking a look in on Michel's Facebook account. I'm rather of a scaredy cat of people's hatred I'm afraid. So I'm rather reserved on my comments, but knowing myself I still couldn't help but still to say something about her to Michel, further agreeing to Ange's thoughts about her. 

Now the poor lad needs someone to talk to, and honestly I do want to help him. But I do have an early exam tomorrow that I have to get to, and also the fact that I'm going home tomorrow for a month. Not too sure how I feel about that, but at any rate, if not now, he'll need to wait a while before being able to talk to me again (oddly it's not just Ange that he wants). To be honest I feel like I want to be able to enjoy tonight. But I guess I'm not too sure now. "Once in a while, a person has got to be selfish to save oneself"...is what they say.

Jealousy...an interesting concept

What is it about jealousy that eats at people's hearts? Is it that a green little monster inside our heads suddenly springs to life when he sees things that he thinks we would not like to see? Is it a natural instinct that us humans are unable to change or overcome or to avoid it from happening? I don't know what is it about it. Because usually jealousy is known to come without reason. But...what if jealousy came with a reason this time? 

Good evening. It's been a long 2 to 3 weeks. Many things happened, many of them not too important as they're not about me. Thank Heavens everything that truly concerns me is good, happy and most importantly, safe. A friend of mine broke up with his first girlfriend. Poor Michel is in a grieving state now and I'm about to be off to provide him some company, along with Ange, later at night. 

But that isn't my point today. I've met many things in my journey through life. I've thought of many things that can happen. I've considered many things that people expect me to consider before doing something. But not once did I ever think of having to consider a form of jealousy that is rather...reasonable...

What would you do, dear readers, if you see the love of your life, talking to his ex, with an odd manner while talking? The content of the conversation is, I trust, to be innocent. But then why hide the conversation almost immediately when one tries to view things? It contrasts, that much is evident. And it is the contrast that bothers me at the moment. 

I know that I'm not supposed to be prying around. But granted, one does get curious of such things when it stumbles into our midst. One can't help but to pry. Even he has admitted to prying once, and to this day, that girl still doesn't know what he did. He did it with good reason, so I won't say anything. But as do I now, I do what I do with good reason. The conversation was hid from me, made to seem almost natural, that movement, but me being someone who notices things easily (at least for things that I do want to notice myself), I tend to take everything with a pinch of salt. But it still did make me wonder about it. I didn't want to seem...distrustful, but the urge of wanting to ask about it was there. 

I am a person who asks everything that comes to mind. But why am I trying to seem like the 'good girlfriend' that he deems me to be, when all I want to do is just to ask what on Earth, or why on Earth did he move to hide things? Is it to protect me? Is it an instinct (like everything else that happens sometimes)? Is it something that you didn't realize you were doing until you were doing it? 

I ask from anything to everything. You wondered aloud once why I keep asking questions. I believe I've told him once that usually it could be for conversation's sake. But at certain times, when I ask something, I do genuinely want to know what is going on. But...how can a girl ask something like this, without seeming like I don't trust him? Oh, I trust him, I do. It's just that when there is a movement like that that catches your attention, your heart seems to just waver that bit of a little bit. Thoughts come into your mind...does he still care? Does he regret what happened? Does he this and that...

It is not something I can help, nor it is something that I am proud of. But it is something that comes natural to me and I supposed that I have to come clean about what I'm worried about somehow. I don't want to say that I pried because I was burning with curiosity. I don't want you to mistrust me ever, because I would rather not betray that trust at all. But she was the ex that gave up, you didn't. So any sort of movement, sentence, thoughts, that comes to light to my eyes, it will make me have that worm of jealousy, doubt, worry and insecurity in my head. 

I love him. He should know that. But if asked am I jealous? 

...

Well...I suppose I have to say that...yes...yes I am.

Post-MS?

You know that one point where a girl (or anyone else, I wouldn't know) starts feeling irritated by every single thing that happens. Like a hair that fell on the arm and itches, like the scalp that itches even though you just washed it that morning, like the hair that fell on your face that itches, like idiot people getting under your skin and your brain is itching to tell you to shut them up (you know you can do it...just that...well...they're still your friends). 

Ange tells me that it's that time of the month's fault. But I seem to think differently. That time of the month never bothers me. But hell, all the other small stuff does. I had gastric pains on the way back home from The Legend of Hercules the movie (legend my butt...saddest case of Hercules story I've ever seen - only in my opinion). Being hungry - the gastric obviously - didn't help my irritation, neither did the bad movie. 

Ange tried his best to make me happy again. Knowing I was hungry he went to a mamak after dropping our friend home. I knew he was doing something consciously to make me feel okay again. But man I do wish that I know what's the reason that is bothering me. My theory is that it's all the tiny tiny reasons put together (those irritating hairs!!!!!). I'm consciously trying to feel better again. Of course feeling tired / sleepy doesn't help. Thinking about that, it even led me to the thought that we have 24 hours in a day. Why the hell do we feel sleepy after what...14 hours? 

Lack of thinking people do these days....

Heh...the essence of dating, as they say, is to remember to give your partner enough space to move around, so to speak. I'm all for giving enough space to people, seriously. But at least know enough to send me a word when you're going off somewhere, instead of when I ask, and then only you tell me that you've been off somewhere. If you told me beforehand, I wouldn't have needed to ask and frustrate now would I? =A=

Sigh...I really don't know what men are thinking sometimes. I get it that men don't have the same idea of safety as we do, or at least, in general they don't. The men I know almost think that they're invisible to the world, and God forbid even if anything happened, they would be able to handle themselves. But they forget that their loved ones are still waiting for them at home, wondering if they're okay. 

Seriously guys...just think of the people who you know will worry about where you are where you seem to disappear off the face of technology. We all don't have powers to teleport us to wherever you are to make sure if you're okay. So just have the decency to just send word of where you are if you're planning to go off somewhere, or go off to a guys' night out stuff or something, especially if you don't plan to reply that loved one for moments of time. Trust me, it'll do you, and her a lot of good if you make that effort. =.=;

And don't give me the crap of you don't think that it's dangerous, or the classic "I'm okay what...", or even "it's nothing suspicious why should I inform also". I know most men would love to answer that. Bullshit I say. We girls love you for a reason. We just want to know if you're okay, and if all of a sudden if you don't seem to reply for hours, we worry. We accept that there's a chance you won't reply us during your guys' night out. But for goodness sake accept that we will worry and you HAVE to at least send word when we do ask you where you are, especially with a worried tone, if not at the start when you head out.

It's not hard honestly. Just type "I'm heading out with who who who", and click SEND. So hard for you to spare that 10-40 seconds (depending on the speed that you type obviously)? She's the one you love right? Shouldn't be hard to spend a certain few seconds just to ease her worries if any come at all. Think men. THINK from our side for a moment... =A= I'm already thinking of your side, so at least make half the journey to meet me in the middle. 

Jeez...things men do these days....

First post of the new year : 2014

First day of the new year of 2014. *rolls rolls rolls about* I have no inkling as to what I want to do now. Oh, I know what I should do, and that is studying for my French exam in two days (but less than 48 hours TAT). But my heart is not letting me want to do it, and I can tell you, that's the highest level of procrastination I can give you. (._. ) When my heart doesn't want me to do something, the thing really can't be done. If I force myself to, all that will come to be is just much yawning and complaints of tiredness.

French, french, french....seriously I am never ever going to take another foreign language again unless I'm sure that I want to commit to that time. Studying for it is such a drag...compulsory, yes I know; but still a drag nonetheless. Now I'm trying to convince Ange that it is best for me to study beside him (although I'm seriously doubting that myself...but then again, I have been known to act when I need to, I've done my best assignments with him by my side for goodness sake =3=) but I'm not sure he'll take me up on that suggestion. O~Q

My first professional dressing up picture is already out, thanks to Michael Tang Photography. It reminds me to get a new corset, a decent one this time instead of a paper made one from "taobao". OTL Anything from taobao is only worth wearing once (or twice if one really wants to push it). Hopefully, my next attempt at dressing up will be a little more decent. Thinking along the lines of High Priest, Ada Wong or Lina Inverse. Am currently leaning towards Lina Inverse now, but I'm sorta the opposite of how Lina looks like. She's Western (from the name), short and has small boobs (-_-). I won't say anything further than that. =A=

On another note, I'm excitedly waiting for the Sony Xperia Z1 mini to be launched in Singapore and in turn, locally. Ange promised to buy me one so that I don't have to worry about my phone (my sordid Samsung, although lovingly bought by my dad, is starting to make me want to throw it at a wall). God bless him. T^T Been racking my head on how to save up (even if I do save up to a certain amount, obviously I need to save up more than that to actually want to use that amount (._. ) ) and I reluctantly asked him. He said instead of the C that I asked for, he rather get me the Z1 mini so that I won't have to worry about my phone for two years. TAT I love him sho sho much! (so touched...)

May the new year of 2014 bless us with all the happiness, luck, prosperity, smiles, safety and fun that exists. :) Oh yes, can't forget love too. >D God bless us all~ <3