What is it with hormones that makes my mood go up and down and up and down? Seriously I hate having periods, period! (no pun intended)...
This is one of the days where I felt extremely content an hour ago, and upon seeing that Ange's out with Mr. Practical and probably won't have time for me, my mood turned a little for the worse. Where's my empathy of understanding, you ask? Oh, it's right here, in my head. It's telling me that he needs his time with his friends and all that and he can't cater to my every whim every time. Yeah I know that. I just can't help but to feel depressed that's all. Probably the hormones. (Hormones inside me are probably going : "yeah yeah, blame everything on us *grumbles* nobody gives us any credit". Well, if you want credit, quit making people depressed!!!)
I'm not sure why but I just don't feel too serene. I have nothing on my mind to worry about, 'cept for the idiotic landlord and chief tenant's lack of courtesy that's pissing me off. Otherwise, I'm perfectly serene, with just a splash of depressed emotions in the heart.
The mind has no control over the heart. It's as if both my brain and my heart works together at the same time, one of the main reasons why although I have empathy, I constantly struggle with myself and my decisions. Empathy and irrationality works together hand-in-hand, making clashing decisions to think and feel different at every chance they get. As if my hormones aren't doing enough to my emotions once every month (hormones: "quit blaming us will you?!" ; Me: " yeah yeah yeah...*scoffs*").
Sometimes, the heart in me likes to tell people that take him away from me (temporarily - obviously). People like his college people (uni stuff), his friends (normal case), even his anime-s and games (yes I'm that crazy...). My heart's telling me to be selfish sometimes when it comes to him, it's just that I don't really...do too much of what my heart tells me (anyone at this point might sigh in relief). Unless there is no conditions where following my heart doesn't give bad consequences, following my mind (aka Miss Rationality the Empathy Department of Brain Inc.) has always been the way to go, to avoid others being mad at me.
Heh...what do I know right now, right? I'm just depressed...
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